I can recollect the days when you received a long distance phone call that it was like a celebration. Everybody got excited and could hardly wait to see who was calling. Part of the reason was that long distance phone calls were considered expensive. When you made one yourself, it was in the evening when the rates were cheaper. The calls were usually limited to three minutes unless there was something really urgent. Normally the long calls were limited to learning that someone had died or that a new baby was born. You didn’t call to discuss your latest shopping activities or explain what the kids had done lately. Nope that kind of news went in a handwritten letter that was delivered by the post office. People do not seem to do that anymore, although the post office would be happy if more folks did. Perhaps if they did, it would not be necessary to leak that the rates are going up again. Postal rates are now past what a long distance phone call used to cost by far!
Today, we receive tons of long distance phone calls. The difference is that we do not even answer most of them – unless we are really lonely! I am certain that if a good analyst of such phone calls were made that 88.8% of them would be from warranty companies. We all hear the phone ring and see a number that we do not recognize. The question in our minds relates to whether old Uncle Earl is calling or is it what normally hides behind the unknown number. Many of us figure that if it is Uncle Earl, he will leave a message. If it isn’t, you will just hear a clunk on your answering machine. The Blond in the house and I had an interesting one a short time ago. It was from James Bond! That was intriguing as we wondered if he needed our help on his latest mission. We checked the answering machine, and all we heard was the big clunk. We hope that James hasn’t been forced into retirement and is now doing warranty calls! That would be terrible!
The warranty calls that we do happen to listen to as we absent mindedly pick up the phone are all from terribly excited people who want to extend your car warranty. Since we have a new car with a four-year warranty on it, we are not excited about that. Sometimes we get them on a car we haven’t owned for six years. I figure that the whoever the present owner is can handle that as he/she sees fit. A friend mentioned that a friend of his answered one of the calls and listened patiently to the excited person about the benefits of an extended car warranty. Finally, he was asked what kind of a car he had. He said that it was a 1930 Ford, and the excitable person hung up! Holy cats, you would think that when a sale was within his grasp that he would get even more excited. Who knows? It could be that he only sold warranties on foreign cars!
I will say one thing about warranty calls. That is, you can understand what they are saying. Now, if you call about a warranty, you find yourself talking to someone with a thick unknown accent. The world would be a better place if they reversed that order.
Perhaps, we need to go back to paying for long distance phone calls!
Columnist Barry Evans writes about Life in The Villages for Villages-News.com
