Every once in a while, I stop and think about what routinely happens in life and where we really do not pay much attention to the ramifications of certain actions. For example, the times when I go into a grocery store, buy what The Blonde in the house has printed out for me to get (plus what she calls me about that she forgot to put on the list). In any case, when I get to the checkout counter, the person behind the counter smiles and asks if I got everything on my list and did all go well. Naturally like most people I reply that everything is fine and dandy and imply that how could there be anything better?
How indeed! Occasionally, I get the urge to point out that it is a war out there in the aisles. This is particularly true when the store starts a new round of BOGO’s. Unfortunately, it is worse when the snowbirds are here. (I am not casting depredations on snowbirds. Some of my best friends are snowbirds. It is just that when they are here the store aisles are even more crowded). I mean I find that there are folks out there who want the same groceries as I do, and they put their cart where I wanted to put mine. Sometimes the cart remains rooted there while the user studies the shelves very carefully, and fondles various cans or bottles before one is reluctantly put in the cart. However, it doesn’t necessarily stay there, as it is often picked up and cautiously compared with a different brand or two.
My problem is that I can see the can I want, but I can’t get there without starting an unseemly ruckus. Now in the old days, it would probably have been may the best man win in securing a sought item. That is not true today. The men are terrified of the women who are the real bosses in the store’s aisles. Men know instinctively that if it is say the day before Thanksgiving and there is only one can of pumpkin left, and a woman is headed toward it, then the man gets the heck out of the way. This is true even if the woman at home is expecting him to return with a can of pumpkin. When he returns he will probably have a bag of apples with a suggestion that apple pie might be a nice change for Thanksgiving.
Naturally, grocery stores are not the only place where semi-truths are uttered when a cheerful question is presented to you. One of the most notorious is in a restaurant when you are asked how the service and/or the food was. Now I realize that there are curmudgeons among us who will tell the plain truth regardless of the shock and awe that is caused – not only to the questioner, but also the spouse who is trying to pretend that the partner is someone never before seen. However, most folks will smile and agree that it was one of their favorite meals and the server was a prince among men. Actually, the meat was burnt to a crisp, the potatoes were cold and the bread was probably a week old. The server was also not seen enough to know whether he was a prince or a frog – except when he brought the bill and smiled broadly.
Despite all of this we still return to the grocery store perhaps a few times a week, and may well return to the same restaurant – possibly with someone who goes there frequently and loves the food and service.
One of these days when I am asked a question about were things great and it is after a war in the grocery aisles, I will make a bold truthful comment. Naturally, it will not be a day when The Blonde in the house is with me – that is not a time for “shock and awe!”
Barry Evans is a regular contributor to Villages-News.com.
